Archive for July, 2012

Joe Grind Notes

Posted on July 17, 2012. Filed under: Gender Relations |

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This little blog will deal with some ideas for all to consider, but it’s primarily aimed at those men who play the role of “Joseph P. Grind” aka “Joe Grind”. As always, let me publicly declare that I do not endorse cheating/infidelity of any sort.

Now onto the meat of the matter; if you’re doing something then might as well do it right and with your best abilities. Having played the Joe Grind role in a former life I thought it would be good to advise those men who are currently engaged in the role or considering such an engagement.

ALWAYS use a condom
This point needs no explanation, but here goes anyway. Condoms are effective means of protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections and preventing pregnancy. Further, it lessens the likely hood of her freezing your sperm and using it for god-only-knows-what (watch NCIS or Law & Order SVU).

Bone her like you own her
Handle your business like a boss, word of mouth is the best recommendation. There are lotsa women out there who keep it real and just want to have a good time; some don’t even mind bangin the same man as their friend as long as he’s great in bed.

Avoid outdoing the hubby/boyfriend
If you stroke her better than her hubby/boyfriend you run the risk of her becoming more attached to you than you want. This point is almost the opposite of the 1above, but you have to carefully determine how well you put it on – if she seems like the type to get clingy then she’s not the candidate for that mind-blowing, Oh God I’m in heaven kinda sex

Use a pseudo name
Don’t let her save your contact details in any of her devices or email under your real (Gov’t) name. Your identity must be protected at all costs. For all intents and purposes you’re a phantom, a figment of all imagination – in essence you don’t exist, so keep it that way.

Watch the ‘paper trail’
No matter how much she’s into you or vice versa DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT keep text messages, call records, videos, pics and incriminating emails on any device of yours. Ensure she removes any/every incriminating evidence from anything electronic she owns, especially if the hubby/boyfriend has access to them. Further ask her to be careful when using a credit card on any outings involving you.

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No sleepovers
Hey, wake yo ass up and leave. There’s absolutely no need for you to sleep by her place. What if hubby/boyfren pops a surprise visit? What if 1 of his associates is on duty watching the location without her knowledge? Do your do and leave… She doesn’t need to sleep over by you either; her vehicle could be trailed or worse have a tracking device. Sure I might sound extreme, but anything is possible in these technologically advanced times. Best bet is to meet at random locations using ‘unmarked’ vehicles.

No need for jealousy
If she sleeps with another man, don’t get mad or jealous. Wake up bro. she’s OPP(Other People’s Property) NOT YOURS. It’s hers to share with as many as she desires, so if you don’t like that she sleeps with some other Joe Grind then stop bangin her and find another hole to water.

Client confidentiality pt 1
As a Joe Grind it is likely that you’ll be servicing multiple accounts. No client needs to know the identitiy of the others; in fact, no client even needs to know if there are ‘others’ like her. Women don’t like being compared so just shut up about any other experiences you may be having. If, however, you’ve got clients who are interested in a ‘group experience’ then by all means go right ahead to ‘mix and match’.

Client confidentiality pt2
No one needs to know who you’re bangin. The world is small and you don’t know who to trust. The last thing you want is for hubby/boyfren to get word about you being the man up in his woman. Ask her to keep your identity secret from her frenz and relatives as well. As Bob Marley once said, “only your friend knows your secret, so only s/he could reveal it…”

Good manners
In your mind she might be a slut, in fact, she may even think of herself like that but she still deserves to be treated with respect. Be courteous, open her doors, pull her chairs and just be an all round gentleman, she deserves it. Make her feel special.

NEVER fall
Your heart is not to get involved. Be dominated by logic and not emotion. Here’s the simple reason, it’s a matter of trust. Bear this in mind, if she’s cheating on him with you, there’s nothing to stop her from cheating on you with someone else if you both decide to commit to each other. Ok, ok, people can change; so she could become a new person with no intention of cheating on her partner in future, but I don’t think it’s a likely occurrence.

Calling it quits
This is no fairytale, so it’s not meant to last forever and surely not “happily ever after” either.  All things must come to an end, so be wise and know when to call it quits. You can’t bone her forever –truth is, the longer you keep it up, the more likely it s that both your covers will get blown. A smart man knows when to pull out, pardon the pun.

So there you have it, 12 ideas to bear in mind when you’re role playing as Joseph P. Grind.

I welcome your feedback.

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Matey by choice – women chasing forbidden fruit

Posted on July 10, 2012. Filed under: Gender Relations |

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Life is filled with duality – good v evil, left wing v right wing and matey v wifey among others; so let’s talk about this wifey v matey matter, focusing on the matey.

For the purpose of this blog let’s focus particularly on the mateys who weren’t tricked into the relationship with the man. Instead I want to share my view about those mateys who knew the man had a ‘wife’ and still decided to go for him. Let me also add that I don’t endorse cheating.

So now I’ve got that out the way let me get into this matter. Truth is that most women don’t seek out or pursue interest in unavailable men, but more women do it than many of us would like to admit. I’m pretty sure that most of you reading this blog have seen examples of this in reality, some of you may have been in the situation playing either the role of wifey, matey or the ‘husband.

Based on my personal observation and discussions I’ve come to the position that women who go for unavailable men usually feel that they are more committed to the relationship than the men are. These women usually feel that the men have all the power and control in the relationship. Women in relationships with unavailable men feel that they have to work hard to keep the man interested, and often try to change themselves into being whatever they think the man is looking for.

Simply put, relationships with unavailable men are frustrating and unsatisfying, yet too many women try-try-try to stick it out and make things work… but why????

I think the women who go for unavailable men have some serious insecurity and self esteem issues. They put so much time and effort into being with this ‘emotionally unavailable’ man, while he has his cake and eats it too.

Part of the motivation for these women is the belief that if the unavailable man finally comes around and commits, they’ll finally have evidence that they are a ‘worthy woman’. Sadly, if he never commits to them their self-worth is left hanging in the wind. Another motivating factor for these women’s pursuits is that they’ve invested so much and waited so long for the unavailable man to come around that the thought of leaving without any payoff is almost unthinkable.

Matey characteristics
Even though their behavior can lead to a host of problems, these women aren’t fools. They display tremendous strength and perseverance. If a woman sets her mind on getting the attention and affection of an unavailable man, she may go to great lengths to keep giving him chances. At the same time, she’ll often fall into the rut of making excuses for his negligent behavior. Though this approach isn’t ideal, her behavior reflects the fact that she is patient, hard working, and committed to something she cares about. Those are good qualities!

Let me add that there’s also the characteristic of bravery/courage – because if the wife finds out about the affair there can be hell to pay especially if the wife is confrontational. In that case it’s a matter of beat or be beaten – rarely does wife focus her energy on the man, she heads straight to fighting matey.

A bit of advice
For women who find themselves in a relationship with an unavailable man, you don’t need to change everything about yourself, just switch your focus. Stop trying to get his attention and/or affection and instead focus on your own emotional needs.

Focus on trying to get those emotional needs met by a man who’s willing to be a MAN and not just a GROWN BOY. If you’re willing to do the work to explore your behavior, motivations, and needs, you could find yourself in the near future in a relationship with a man who’s actually worth it. Imagine that!

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