Archive for February, 2011

Why “Joe Grind” can’t marry her

Posted on February 18, 2011. Filed under: Gender Relations |

For those of you who know me, Garth’s no angel #NewsFlash . On occasion I’ve been called upon to play various roles with the ladies… boyfriend, lover, man, best-friend, confidante, counselor and, of course, “joe grind”.

If you’re unfamiliar with the phrase “joe grind”, let me quickly share.

Mr. Joseph P. Grind is the gentleman responsible for “fitting in” where boyfriends/husbands are absent or shirking responsibility. He is an “upstanding” citizen and a man who’s “firm” beliefs women ‘open up’ to. He’s a man who knows that sorrow endureth for a night, but “joy cometh in the morning” and he gladly ‘spreads joy’ too.  *replace ‘joy’ with any female name u desire*

Joe Grind is the man on the side. He’s never seen by the husband/boyfriend but he knows who the husband/boyfriend is. He may not even be listed as a contact in her phone nor on facebook. For all intents and purposes he is a phantom except when it’s time for action.

He watches as her relationship/marriage progresses. Joe listens as she express her disappointments with the relationship she’s in, but at no point does Joe want her to leave; because if she leaves then… *dramatic theme* … she’s likely to want more of Joe, and he cannot have that.

You see, when a Joe has an affair with a woman, he rarely ever thinks of  of making it permanent. There are exceptions.

Sadly, there are some Joes who see themselves as the man she should have been with in the first place.  Joe, in this case, now sees himself as her ‘knight in shining armour’, come to rescue the damsel in distress. I got 2 words for ya pal – BIG MISTAKE!

Statistics and Trust
I read somewhere online that only 1 in 10 relationships which start from affairs actually last. It’s just not gonna happen, or let me say unlikely to last.

There’s no need to bust your brain trying to figure the reason. It’s one very simple thing – TRUST or should I say the lack thereof. “Trust is like an egg, once it’s broken it can never be the same” – Anonymous (aka. I don’t remember who)

You witnessed and helped her “break an egg”. Remember now, you both started off by cheating. Hey Joe, if she cheated on her last boyfriend and then left him for you, what guarantee do you really have that you won’t end up in the same position? I can answer that for you – NONE, zero, zilch, nada!

Natural instincts
Think about yourself as a man, you really aren’t engineered for monogamy, especially after playing the role of Joe for a while.

Try this for a dose of truth: human beings are evolved for sexual living which features multiple simultaneous sexual relationships. Men, especially, are designed by evolution to be attracted to sexual novelty and to gradually lose sexual attraction to the same partner in the absence of such novelty.

It’s called the “Coolidge Effect” (google it) and it’s well demonstrated in social mammals of all sorts. Yes, I know a thing or two about reproductive biology.

“See me and live with me, 2 different things”
Remember this, playing the role of Joe is quite different from being husband/boyfriend. There are bad sides of her you won’t experience because you are Joe, only a husband/boyfriend would be exposed to those things. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Responsible action
As I close, I must do the honourable thing. I don’t want to leave you with the wrong impression of me (might be too late, but what the heck)

If you’re currently cheating on your partner, please recognise that this action is unfair to them and yourself. Stop living a lie. Be strong, be bold and invite your partner to sit with you and evaluate the relationship.

Suspend the cheating until you have resolved the issues you both face in the relationship, or at least discussed them fully. Sadly, it may be necessary to end the relationship.

I guarantee you that the hurt you both feel if you end it after an honest evaluation will be much less than if it ends because your partner discovered you were cheating.

P.S. the same thing applies to the “girl on the side” or “matey” or “Jane Grind”

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Lakers for the win, to hell with Laker-haters

Posted on February 10, 2011. Filed under: Sports |

Let me start off by giving a shout out to every reader who actually has a team in the NBA which they support, even if it’s the Cleveland Cavaliers (Cavs contested the NBA finals in 2007).

To those of you “wagonists” who hop around from team to team or just hate on 1 team or 1 player, grow a brain!

Anyhow, let me move on.

I recently commented on a friend’s Facebook status where he was disrespecting the Lakers. This was Thursday, February 3 when the Lakers lost 89-88 to the Spurs courtesy of an Antonio McDyess ‘buzzer’ tip-in.

These guys went on about how the current Laker team is overrated and really isn’t worth shit. That very same night Greg Popovich, the Spurs Head Coach, said on ESPN, “the Lakers are the best team in the league…”

TV analysts agree the LA Lakers is the team to beat because they are built for the playoffs. If  any other team harbours championship dreams they had better be prepared to go through LA.  A 3-peat is eminent.

I hope for the sake of the haters, the history books will add footnotes or appendices for their commentary and snide remarks.

It amuses me how conveniently Laker-haters agree with analysts; but intentionally go deaf as soon as the same analysts sing Laker “praises”.

Moving on…

One of the Laker-hater arguments is that the first 3-peat was against weak teams, namely the Nets in ’02, 76ers in ’01 and Pacers in 2000.

The NBA FINAL is contested by the best Eastern Conference team and the best Western Conference team. It’s sad that you would disrespect  any team that gets to the NBA FINAL by citing lack of talent or calling them weak. They were weak enough to defeat all the other teams in their respective conference.

Then Laker-haters went on to disrespect Kobe. Now it’s one thing if you don’t like Kobe as an individual, he’s a cocky bastard. However, there’s no way you can disrespect his record breaking performances. His stats speak for themselves. Kobe’s stats already qualify him for Hall of Fame induction, but let me move on.

To the haters, remember basketball is a team sport. Transfers and player signings happen every year. A team is allowed to bid for players who they believe will give them the best chance at winning the title.

Team sport, remember? So Kobe or Phil Jackson doesn’t win titles by themselves; its the LAKERS that win titles. This  is why even the men on the bench who get few minutes on the court receive a championship ring.

1 player doesn’t make a team win titles, not even MJ. He had a supporting cast: Pippen, Kerr, Kukoc, Rodman among others all had to contribute to allow the Bulls to dominate in their day.

There is no team in the NBA at this point that can defeat the Lakers in a 7 game series, not even the Celtics and believe me, they come pretty damn close.

So here’s my prediction : Lakers v. Spurs for the Western Conference Championships (if we don’t knock them out lower in the playoffs). On that matter though, most NBA Champions are the teams who had the best regular season records, Spurs are now 43 – 8. There have been notable exceptions especially in recent years, so I’m not too worried.

Lakers v. Celtics NBA Finals … Lakers win AGAIN! (by the way you can see the Lakers at the Celtics tonight Feb. 10 at 8pm ET)

God bless u and good night, lol

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