Archive for January, 2011

Why I said no to sex, the first night

Posted on January 25, 2011. Filed under: Gender Relations |

I moved from Jamaica in early January to take up a job in Dominica.

No, it’s not the Dominican Republic, Haiti’s neighbour and home of Latina booties (beauties).

I came to the Eastern Caribbean nation of Dominca – the land of 365 rivers and gorgeous, lush vegetation. Whoever said Jamaica is the “land of wood and water” should have visited Dominica first.

Anyhow, those of you who have left your native land to reside elsewhere would be well aware of some of the challenges associated with dating in a new/different culture and environment.

Dominica has a population of around 70,000 which is pretty damn small. There are virtually no secrets here and people love each others business. The nightlife is not to be compared with Jamaica; it’s alot slower here. But I’ve found out that where money and rum exist, a great time can be had whenever one chooses.

So I met a lovely young lady who had me lusting from the minute I laid eyes on her. After a few drinks we apparently had enough courage to stop staring at each other from a distance and start flirting with each other in conversation.

Long story short we arranged to have dinner and a few drinks the next day, something I hear constitutes a date.

At dinner we had good conversation and the flirting continued. There was undeniable sexual tension (although that could have been the drinks after the meal). I thought of inviting her back to my place, but chose not to. Strange, I know; but I’m in a foreign land, I opted to tread cautiously.

Honestly my decision was more about me and less about her.

Ok, so not trying to get her undies off her may have made her think that I don’t see her as just a sweet piece of ass. Some women find that flattering I hear, oh well.

A female friend once told me that if we had sex on the 1st date it’s like starting the “getting to know you” process in reverse. That’s a joke, ’cause what if we start having sex on the second date? Doesn’t that still compromise the process?… Moving right along

I just figured that delaying the sex might just make it better than if we raced into it that night.

She knows I like her, so she’s confident. The ball is in her court, but there are 2 balls in my pants and I wanted her to chase ’em. Sure I was horny and I didn’t wanna risk having those balls go blue, but I wanted to avoid the typical “man is the hunter, woman is prey”.

Garth isn’t easy to get and that’s what I wanted her to think. I’m also a gentleman, which means getting her to bed is not a rush for me. It’s chivalrous gesture as well, some women are more turned on by these subtle acts of chivalry.

Another thing played on my mind, I’ve come across some real “psycho bitches” in my times.

In retrospect if I had done my “due diligence” before getting naked with some past lovers I would not have gone there with them.

Yeah the sex was great, mind-blowing in some case, but all the damn stress and drama that came after that was not worth it.

I need more time to evaluate her. Something I’ve come to realise is that not every “dime piece” is supposed to get the benefit/privilege of sex with me. Some of the finest looking women got real mental issues. Experience is the greatest teacher and I’ve been its most loyal student.

This girl appeared “normal” just like the psycho ones, you can never tell by looking. Since I’m not in my homeland, I just figured I’ll take a little more time and know her.

Psychos can’t hide it for too long; only the seriously troubled and professional ones can disguise their psycho behaviour until after that first orgasm.

So I did the unexpected and unthinkable and chose to wait a little. Good things come to those who wait, so I’m just crossing my fingers on this one.

footnotes:
I’m not gonna do a follow up about the sex when it happens.
I am not breaking any rules or hearts by having sex here, which is why I can post this blog for public consumption.

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The Joy of the Barber Shop

Posted on January 9, 2011. Filed under: Personal Development |

So I recently posted “the curse of the hairdresser” and some friends challenged me to write about the barber shop.

Once up on a time I never had control over how my hair was groomed. This was the period between 1980 and 1994 when my grooming was fully financed by my mother with her iron fist. At 14 she ‘allowed’ me to instruct the barber on how to cut my hair. I recall the regret and embarrassment I felt on going home with a “fade” only having to return to the barber for him to adjust it based on my mom’s specifications 😦

The years passed and I moved out and weaned myself off mom’s coffers. The barber shop experience for me is alot different from childhood and teen years. I enjoy my barber shop experience because it’s almost like a bar. It’s a great place to relax, take a load off, make new acquaintances, have spirited intelligent discussions, conduct business, expand network and so much more. All of this in a relatively short time. For us, the barber shop represents a place where you can get away without having to drink, especially during the middle of the hectic work day.

Just like women, men are loyal to their barbers. I’ve had only 3 barbers in 30 years. 1 in Westmoreland and the other 2 were recommended by very close friends upon my migration to Kingston. Would I use any others while in Kingston? Only if my current barbers die *knocking on wood*. Men don’t have to worry about the barber spoiling their hair as there’s usually a constant review of the progress from start to finish. I can hardly recall hearing a man say “u know say do barber spoil mi head today”

Rarely does a man have to spend more than an hour in a barber shop – that includes wait time and the actual grooming. Men (clients) and barbers seem to have a great respect for time. If make an appointment with my barber and arrive punctually, he won’t have anyone in the chair – rare exceptions exist. If I call on short notice he’ll advise me about the best time to come based on who’s now in the chair, who’s waiting and who he’s expecting. I plan my business to factor in a trip to the barber knowing it won’t be to the detriment of any other activity scheduled after the grooming session.

Men know we can take the wife/girlfriend or child to the barber shop and not inconvenience them or worry about what will be said there. For fathers and sons, the barber shop can be a real bonding experience.

As for the conversations in the barber shop the topics don’t vary much; sports, sex, relationships, the economy, world affairs and politics. There’s some amount of gossip, but it’s usually gossip everyone sees in media; rarely is it the personal type of “he said she said” bullshit.

In closing though, the real joy of the barber shop comes in that feeling of restored confidence that a fresh grooming brings. Men walk out of a barber shop feeling like a million bucks even if a mirror would point out their ogreish appearance. In a man’s mind after leaving the barber is the feeling that “I got my swag back”. He now walks with his head high, shoulders square, back straight and a pep in his step.

ahhh, the joy of the barber shop.

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And now you know why we had to end the State of Emergency

Posted on January 6, 2011. Filed under: from other bloggers |

And now you know why we had to end the State of Emergency.

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the curse of the hairdresser

Posted on January 4, 2011. Filed under: Personal Development |

Ever since I was a wee little lad my mom had me on her arm like Gucci bag. I was her shadow. I’ll never forget how many of my Saturday afternoons were shattered to bits because I had to sit down in Andrea’s Hair Parlour and wait for hours until mom got her swag back. With the endless chatting, bickering and gossiping, who needed the STAR or ENQUIRER? as client after client reported to her like journalists feeding an editor.

Apparently the hairdresser is very important in a woman’s life. More important than a man, orgasms, clothes, accessories and maybe even money. While a woman will have multiple lovers or move from partner to partner they will not just change hairdressers. A woman will remain faithful to her hairdresser. A hairdresser gives women “beauty insurance” that no other person(or object) can offer.

Nothing changes a woman more than a great hairdo or a bad one. The hairdresser therefore becomes a sort of magician to her. A day at the spa for a beauty treatment has less of an effect on a woman than a session at the hairdresser’s. I’ve discovered that the best advice you can give to a woman who’s feeling down is to get her hair done.

Queens, princesses and film stars travel with their personal hairdressers, who thus acquire a status equivalent to that of a secretary or advisor. Hairdressers have become important businessmen, they do more than curl hair, they have boutiques for selling wigs and all sorts of frivolous accessories capable of tempting a woman who is in a good mood because she is feeling beautiful. Hairdressers know all the advantages to be found in exploiting feminine laziness and vanity.

Going to the hairdresser’s thus represents for most women relaxation, luxury and pleasure. She arrives in a pleasant environment where an entire organization is waiting for her in order to make her more beautiful. Now the woman can talk about herself and not to be interrupted.

Here’s what women talk about: EVERYTHING, EVERY DAMN THING -health, travels, parties, sex, relationship problems, the economy, relationship problems, gossip, and finally relationship problems.

It’s easy to see why the hairdressers and even the manicurists who have to listen to all these issues ten hours a day become a little jaded. If women only knew what the hairdresser generally thinks of them, they’d probably chat less in the chair and seek to get out of the salon in a rush.

Ladies try to remember that hairdressers too perhaps have a few personal problems. Take an interest in them, or at least refrain from weighing them down with yours as well. Let me also add that there needs to be a great respect for your time, the hairdresser’s time, the other clients’ time and last but not least, THE MEN WHO HAVE TO WAIT ON YOUR ASS TO GET STYLED!

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the princess and the frog

Posted on January 2, 2011. Filed under: Gender Relations |

At the risk of sounding somewhat superficial, I can’t help but wonder what’s at work whenever I see a “mismatched” couple. She’s cute like a button and he’s as ugly as sin or vice-versa. You readers probably ask the same question I do, “how did he get that girl?”.

What is ugly/attractive? Attractive is an adjective describing any object or concept which one finds appealing. Ugly is an adjective describing any object or concept which one finds appalling. Attractive/Ugly is not relative, it’s an absolute. Something is either attractive or not. Interestingly though, the things or people that are considered attractive/ugly vary across cultures and sub-cultures.

Back to the origin of this blog. I have a friend who recently married her boyfriend of 11 years. She’s gorgeous and he is quite the opposite (damn, I sound jealous and petty).  I bluntly asked her  one day about why she chose to date this gentleman. I also had a chat with a few female friends about dating an “ugly” man.

Most Jamaican women are of the view 99% of  men are cheaters and attractive men cheat way more than ugly men.

For the girl with no boyfriend and is sick of all the head games played by attractive men,  all she wants is an honest, trustworthy, fun man who can bring stability into her life. She’s a little less concerned with the package/wrapping and more concerned with the contents.

“Ugly man full a lyrics Garth”, that’s what a friend said to me. I laughed for days, but apparently the “ugly” man speaks confidently and says the right words to make her feel good about herself. It also helps when he’s capable of having an interesting and intelligent conversation. My married friend said her hubby is the funniest man she knows, he keeps her happy and smiling. He never gives her a reason to feel insecure or worry about some other woman.

Apparently women want a man who can romance them and make ’em  feel special; not only for their bodies, but also for their mind and soul (sounds kinda cliche). Another friend added that the ugly man must be awesome in bed. “If mi ago lay dung wid a ugly man, it haffi worth it”. I never asked my married friend about her hubby’s sexual prowess, but it appears she’s satisfied.

Money helps too! Women love stability in all areas of the relationship, but financial stability is probably#1 or at least in the top 3. It just so happens that my friend’s husband “financially comfortable”.

MORAL OF THE STORY

I guess in the end the old adage “never judge a book by its cover” is really true.  The frog may look ugly but the princess finds real beauty in him.

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