Material World – material girl?

Posted on December 23, 2010. Filed under: Gender Relations |

Jamaican actress Andrea Wright aka DELCITA in the 2010 play “Ova mi dead body” said, “Love without money is like lemonade without sugar, it nah go sweet”.

We are living in a material world, where diamonds are still a girl’s best friend. The media seem to reinforce the “value” that it takes cash to care and if a man is broke he can’t get a girl. A woman can be impressed by a poor man and even end up in relationships with them, I’m one such example.

There are women who would never date a poor man, much less talk to him. The gold diggers everywhere, but if she didn’t want me because my pocket couldn’t fund her lifestyle, I don’t want her anyway.

I remember being raised to believe/think the man is supposed to take care of the woman (and family). The man generally goes to work and “brings home the bread”. Along with the idea of chivalry comes the assumption that man provides for woman. Even though women are independent today, the idea of man taking care of his wife/girlfriend financially is ever present.
Women are self-sufficient today no longer need to depend on men to “bring home the bread”. Women are just as powerful and financially capable as men, but that doesn’t mean that they’re willing to be their boyfriends’ providers while the men stay home.

I’ve come to realize women who are willing to “take a chance” with a poor man always consider the reason behind the man’s lack of funds. If he’s poor because of the circumstances he’s born into but he’s ambitious, women will take a chance. If he’s poor because he’s pursuing further studies or lost out on a failed business she’ll consider as well, but that element of ambition must always be present.

The ability to shower a woman with gifts is not necessarily what makes a wealthy man attractive, but rather, it’s the power that is associated with a man’s wealth. But since women and society have moved beyond the point of equating wealth with the qualities of “a good boyfriend,” there are other ways to win a woman over and prove your power.

Showing a woman how caring you are does not have to cost a fortune. Giving her the gift of time, attention, spontaneity, and caring has always worked for me. After all, the best things in life are free.
Be attentive to her needs. If she tells you she’s a vegetarian, learn to cook vegetarian or go to restaurants which have good vegetarian menus. Be spontaneous by planning a special day together, even if it’s just a walk in a park with some ice-cream.

Romance and spontaneity have more to do with atmosphere and less with the amount of the bill. You don’t need money to buy class and style. I’ve found ways to look ‘impressive’ without wearing the world’s popular/expensive brands.

I work hard to look presentable.  Being well groomed and staying in shape are 2 of the strongest tools a poor man can use to his advantage. You can look like a million bucks without spending the million.

In meeting women, I’ve found charming them with humor, wit and gentlemanly etiquette goes a far way. My bank account has always been slim but most ladies rarely pay it attention because there are other qualities which they appreciate.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been rejected before because of my state of being “too financially challenged” to meet her needs. Fortunately, that occurrence has been rare.

My advice to “poor men” or “financially challenged” men is … show women that you have a lot to offer — generosity, thoughtfulness, chivalry, spontaneity, being outgoing, romantic and fun to be with. As long as you’re still ambitious and driven, have confidence in spite of your circumstance. Focus on other parts of what you have to offer, she’ll see that digging you will leave her with something more precious than gold; that something is YOU.

 

 

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2 Responses to “Material World – material girl?”

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Thanks for representing women fairly.

Well written – I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article! I believe your ‘spin’ on this issue to be on-point. Us women don’t all chase the material things and I totally appreciate the simple but meaningful suggestions you offer to the men, as to what us women really want.


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