Archive for November 10th, 2010

Why Women Cannot Find a Good Man

Posted on November 10, 2010. Filed under: Gender Relations |

The many variables contributing to this phenomenon actually come down to overcoming one negative attribute of the female mind, which is lack of self-knowledge. (Pardon me, but the whole “academic/intellectual” thing just had to be done at the start, now back to regular talkin, lol)

If a woman does not know who she is and what her purpose and true nature is, she will never understand how to find (get) a good man. Might I also add that part of the reason why men will never understand women is simply based on the fact that WOMEN really don’t understand WOMEN. Their “complexity” as a species/gender has rendered them inconsistent in actually practicing what they preach.

First, let us dispel all the myths and urban legends.

There is no shortage of men. Though there are many men in the prison system, there are not as many men in the prison system than there are on the streets. There are also good men in prison (or they come out that way), but most women would rather not date an ex-con because of the societal stigma attached to those who’ve been incarcerated.

There are statistics that suggest that 1 out of 17 men are gay, they are only a small percentage of the general population. Let us also consider the fact that the marriage rate is low, not all good men are married (quite a number of the “bad” men are already married, just ask the women who currently exist in “wedded misery”); it merely appears that way because of the female preference and wish list.

Therefore, this leaves the majority of men available and “marriable” (we should get this word adopted into the English Lexicon). There are many college educated men, single men who are decent men, and many God-fearing men who want a family and would be dedicated to that family. The problem is not so much with men or the shortage myth, but what women want in their men.

Secondly, all too many times, women are expectant of something. They say they will settle for a man with a job, any job, but in reality, when the money is not rolling in plentiful enough to keep up with “girlfriend,” the woman’s true preferences show through. They then attempt to “better” their man by suggesting more schooling (or in extreme cases, “alternate” means of income generation)

Many women claim that physique is not important or looks, or size, but when time comes for public appearances, family reunions, or physical satisfaction, somehow the woman comes up short. She speaks for the man in public (and society has come to expect women to do the talking), she makes excuses to family and friends for her man’s situation, and she constantly seeks change and variety in sexuality.Not to say that all women are like this, but those who cannot seem to find a good man would better fit this profile in more ways than one.

Third, she ignores the brother on her job that just does not spark that physical appeal in her. She is not impressed with the brother’s work habits or his nerdy qualities, and she automatically looks the other way because of his lack of sex appeal and she turns to the brother who got it that way instead, yet he is the one who will treat her like a dog.

She has not understood that many men will make her a good husband if she knew what to look for instead of searching for the stereotypical qualities on her list-of-desirable men. Each woman as an individual will need to identify qualities in a man that are specific to her unique needs in order to find an absolutely compatible mate.

Too many women believe in “society’s” definition of what a man is thus she looks for that man. He is the hunk, the bad boy, the jock, the successful, and she ignores the obvious, the nerd, the simple, the bright, the thinker, the anti-social, and the quiet.

Lastly, women cannot find a good man because she does not know who she is and what makes her happy. Her mother told her to find a successful lawyer or doctor but her mother neglected to tell her that lawyers and doctors can cheat on their wives too.

Her friends told her to find a man who could satisfy her sexually but they neglected to tell her that he will satisfy everyone else’s sexual desires as well.

The woman’s magazine told her to find a man who is sensitive and who will share the house work while she works, yet neglected to tell her that that is reverse oppression and a man will not stay down long under those circumstances.

She has the excuses; she has tried this man and that, but has come to the conclusion that all men are dogs. One problem with that is, if all the men she tried were dogs in her book, then her attempt to train him was a failure; if all the men she’s tried are dogs, does it mean that there’s something wrong with the men? Or is it that there’s something wrong with her?

This leads into the drama of what women want.

The mind games, the control factor, and the unrealistic expectations of women have gone beyond that of reality and into the fanatical.

Women first read the man through and then try him in many areas to test his stability. This is a mistake because if she has to test him then she is expecting something other than a real relationship. She is also putting in jeopardy the potential of a relationship from the beginning.

The games, the games, the mind games. The woman then has to gain control. She first seeks out the man’s weakness and when she has found it, she will either exploit it for her own benefit, because that is what she is taught by her girlfriends, or she will accept it as is and help strengthen it for her advantage in the future. THERE ARE VERY FEW WOMEN WHO WILL IDENTIFY A WEAKNESS IN A MAN AND SEEK TO WORK ON IT TO MAKE THE MAN BETTER FOR THE SAKE OF A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.

She expects sensitivity, consideration, and respect, yet if she is not sensitive, considerate or respectful of others, or herself, she will never receive those things from him. She first has to know herself before expecting this character from others to her own satisfaction.

Does she really want a family or is this something she has come to anticipate from the propaganda of society and media?
Is she going to be a good mother because many men want children but cannot handle a contentious and or perplexed woman? Thus we have many single mothers.

Not to say that men have it all together, but when women complain about not being able to find a good man, they must first understand what a good man is and what to expect from him. She must also know how to give that which is good to the man if she wants to keep him and call him her own.

What say you?…

P.S.

Let me further point out that there is a very clear distinction between women and little girls, which will be the topic of another note.

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Loving yourself

Posted on November 10, 2010. Filed under: Personal Development |

For most of you who know me personally, when you read the title of the note you thought I was going to launch off into the “Wild World of Whacking Off”, lol. I’ll save that topic for another time.

Do you want someone to love you unconditionally? Well, do you give yourself 100 percent unconditional love? If we really expect others to love us unconditionally, then we have to love ourselves first.

It is easy to point the finger at our significant other and say all of the things that are wrong with them. It is harder to point our fingers at ourselves and ask, “Why is this my experience?” It’s hard to look at our past and present to see why we are experiencing a lack of self-love.

Unfortunately our society and our educational system don’t give us the knowledge we need to build this sense of love for ourselves. There is no “how-to” manual. Our family is the only structure that offers us a hint of this 100 percent unconditional love, and if we were raised in a semi-dysfunctional (or extremely dysfunctional) family, then the odds of finding it are against us.

At some point in our lives, we have to come to the decision to love ourselves, for our personal benefit and for the benefit of those who love us. A lack of self-love will ultimately turn an optimistic relationship into an unhappy one because neither person will be able to express unconditional love.

Learning to embrace yourself and love yourself unconditionally isn’t easy. What do we need to do?

Acknowledge that you have to love yourself unconditionally before you can love anyone else.

Accept that your self-love can only come from you.

Start with yourself, you have to stop looking to others for love.

Nurture yourself like you were a baby. Treat yourself to a solo dinner, go to a spa by yourself, tell yourself that you are beautiful.

Discover all the things there are to love about yourself. You can ask friends to tell you what they like about you as well as thinking about the things you love about yourself.

See what your strengths are, and build your life around them.

In the end I hope you will finally attract the love in your life that you were missing before.

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