Single Life – don’t rush to end it

Posted on November 9, 2010. Filed under: Gender Relations |

Everyday I hear persons complain about trouble in their relationships (marriages). I wonder why people are so obsessed about getting into relationships anyway. When you’re single, you’re not committed anyone in particular, able to party like a rock star and sleep late with no one to tell you to do otherwise. It’s a great life, and why shouldn’t it be?

These days, there’s no real social pressure to get married right out of high school or university unlike when our fore-parents were young. You can easily get laid without saying “I do,” and most people are waiting until much later in life to tie the knot.

People are always asking “when are you going to settle down?” (I’ll take on the whole matter of “settling down” in another blog) Should anyone really be in a rush to ransom their freedom? Should you start searching for your soul-mate and wave bye-bye to your prided singularity?

Remember life’s all about different strokes for different folks. We won’t all subscribe to the same views, not even god can make that happen. So know yourself and know what works for you.

Before I digress let me just talk about why single life can be beneficial

Time to find “the one”

So let’s assume you believe (or been brainwashed) that there’s one person out there for you. In Jamaican parlance “Every hoe have dem stick a bush”. Being single gives you enough time to wait for your true soul mate (if one even exists) to pop into the picture.  The last thing you want is to be in a relationship and meet someone with whom you’re more compatible with than your partner.

When you’re single you can take the time to casually wade through the shark-infested waters of the dating ocean pool and bait your hook for the prize catch.

In other words, by holding out for the right one you can avoid the mistake of a lifetime and marry for love and not out of desperation (or because of the pressure from your friends/family)

It’s sad to say, but too many people get hitched for the wrong reasons, like they’ve reached a certain age, all of their friends are getting married, and they haven’t been successful at dating and this person is the first to show interest.

Staying single allows you to take your time playing the dating game, and increase your odds of beating the divorce statistics.

Career building

Staying single allows you to enjoy the opportunity of building your career without draining the energy a permanent relationship entails. You remain free to put in long hours, work on the weekends or do whatever else you have to do to be more successful. If you’re working in any kind of time-demanding field, such as politics, medicine, law or entrepreneurship you know exactly what I mean.

What’s the advantage, you  might ask, of being successful and single? Think about it, once your business booms and you’re raking in millions then you’ll have alot more “options” from which to choose a mate. Let’s be real for a moment, your chances of getting into a relationship and marriage are significantly increased when you’re rich. It’s just the way of the world (sad but true).  That being said, when you’re rich you probably still won’t even have time to think about marriage, but that’s a risk lotsa people are willing to take.

FREEEEEEEEDOM!!!

When you’re single, the world is your beach and all you have to do is play in the sand. You can pick up and go anywhere you want, do anything you want, any time you want. No one is in the background nagging at you.

You’re absolutely free to hang out with your friends, party until dawn and find plenty of time for your “personal interests” and/or hobbies. Best of all, you have the luxury of being all by yourself, if you feel like it.

SEXUAL OPTIONS

One of the best reasons for staying single is that you don’t have to limit yourself to staying with the same sex partner. Even though there are people(not just men) who have more than 1 sex partner when in a committed relationship [a very sad truth]. The dating world is yours to conquer. You can happily sample all the different offerings at the sexual buffet and keep your taste buds primed for the next dish being served (pardon the eating analogy, lol).

What’s more, you never have to wrestle with sexual boredom or lack of variety, especially if your partner is close minded and unadventurous. Fantasies are all yours to make reality. When you’re single, your sex life can become whatever you want it to be, you can be as uninhibited as you want.

Better wealth management

At the risk of sounding like a complete meanie, I remind you that relationships (marriages) come with particular “attendant costs”. It’s like buying a house or car and having to constantly spend on its upkeep and insurance. The financial decisions/considerations affect no one but you. The buck literally stops with you. The bills you pay and your spending habits are less because you’re spending for just one, especially your entertainment costs. Your only mandate is to be fiscally responsible

By staying single, you’re not legally or financially obligated to anyone but yourself. Oh and let’s consider how money gets split in the event of a divorce. What’s that I hear the men say about prenuptial agreements? Try convincing a woman, regardless of the endless love she has for you, to sign a prenuptial agreement. Moving right along…

Ahhhh yes, good ol’ peace and quiet

Staying single means peace and quiet. When you live alone you’re not subjected to mood swings, emotional storms or blame games. If you’re not a good listener then single life is even more appealing because you won’t be expected to provide counseling at the end of a bad day. You can leave the toilet seat up (or down) and not have to answer to anyone.

I can spoil me

If you see it online or in a store, you can buy it because you want it. When you wake up and feel like jetting off to a random location, then you can do it without having to ask questions. If you feel like going to a hotel, all you gotta do is pack a bag, secure the house and just go. Again, all you have to do is  maintain a certain level of responsibility by not overdoing anything.

Compromise, what the hell is that?

Being single means you don’t have to constantly find a “middle ground” between you and the significant other. You don’t have to do what anyone else wants to do, just to make them happy or keep them off your back. This includes being forced to see chick flicks or attend baby showers or watch/attend sporting events and the list goes on and on

THE SINGLE LIFE

While a relationship (marriage) may provide certain benefits, when you choose to stay single, you’re keeping the door open for many more options and opportunities in your life. Your independence is something you should never surrender lightly, even if you think you’ve met the man/woman of your dreams.

Relationships are risky and emotions are powerful, just bear that in mind before you take a chance with your heart or put someone else’s heart on the line

So think twice (or maybe three times) before you take that long walk down the aisle (literal and figurative).

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5 Responses to “Single Life – don’t rush to end it”

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Yes Garth, I concur. No rush here at all. Enjoy it while you can.

I am in toatl agreement with you on this one….single life strrr8888

Great blog. One too many of my young friends (22-28) are either filing for divorce or regret ever getting married. Long term relationships were too early leaving one to benefit all that’s stated above. Another positive is waiting and planning especially where kids are concerned. Some ppl believe that the natural cycle is leave school-get work-find wife-have kids. Where does the “you” come in. We tend to live a rushed and planned life (what parents want, what society wants) and before you know it we are miserable and old as we didn’t live to enjoy oneself. I say frig it do what you want how you want only you can live your life and if being single is it then more power.

Forget like. I love this post! It’s like you’re in my head!!!

Yes, sometimes you need some “me” time. There are people out there who don’t even know what it’s like to be single. They just jump from one relationship to the next. So my question is, if you don’t take time to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, and how you may have added to it, what makes you think it will be any different in the next one?


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