Happiness – you can help yourself get it

Posted on October 26, 2010. Filed under: Personal Development |

Happiness is a subjective matter. What makes me happy may not be enough to make some one else feel the same. I believe though that there are common principles and practices among people who consider themselves happy. Thankfully, you don’t have to be rich to be happy; being rich helps for sure, but on its own, riches won’t make you happy. Too often we measure happiness by financial standing and that will will distact you from the bigger picture of happinesss

I can’t think of 1 bit of scientific evidence that can help us absolutely determine happiness, probably God alone could do that and then not everybody believes in the existence of a supreme creator – God.

I don’t know though if scientists will get to a point where they can give you a formula for happiness, but here are some of the things I do which have made me a “happy man”.

Being fair

It’s no secret that I know and interact with lotsa people. It’s always a great feeling when I can participate in activities where everyone is treated fairly and they can accept the results without feeling cheated or shortchanged. Sometimes it comes at some personal cost, but my reward is the smiles of satisfaction and the good referrals.

No bad vibes and “carrying feelings”

Take my word, holding grudges robs you of your joy. I hate when I go out and see someone who pissed me off and I haven’t gotten over it. Instead of focusing on the current environment I’m giving them my energy and then I lose out on having a good time. Lotsa times they don’t even know I’m around nor do they care if I’m mad or not. The ability to forgive and forget, to go with the flow, or just move on from a bad situation is what keeps me going. If you wrong me, I’m confident that the BITCH called KARMA is gonna get you, so I’m over you as quickly as possible.

Having lots of friendships

Extroverts are happier than introverts and they live longer lives, in part because they can spend time in the company offriends and family or they can spend time alone, according to happiness researcher Ed Diener. Being extroverted and having a wide social circle is a major factor in why I consider myself happy. It’s just a joy to reach out and impact on people’s lives in a positive way.At any rate, it’s a reason to justify spending time on social networking sites.

Being spiritual (not necessarily Christian)

I’m in Jamaica and as a result I”m christian. If Saudi Arabia were my native land then I would have been a Muslim and not any less happy because of my religion. I can’t explain happy Atheists though. Anyhow, research has shown a clear correlation between a person’s “strength of religious affiliation and their self-reported levels of happiness and satisfaction with their lives. My religious affiliations and practices have lead me to a greater network of support and also a feeling of hope that God will work out every situation even in the darkest hour

Planning ahead

There’s method to my apparent madness. I usually calculate my moves and plan my activities. There are aspects of my future that I can control significantly. This gives me virtual certainty that things will go the way I want them to and when I get my way it makes me happy 🙂

Dare to dream

I don’t wait for night time or when I’m “under the influence” to dream. I sit and think and envision all the things I’d like to achieve. In my mind, I’m the happiest man alive.

Doing “it”

I’m not talking about sex, you perverts, even though sex makes me very happy. I’ve got 1 life to live and I’m not going to be the man who looks back and has a long list of things he wished he did. I make a concerted effort to do it all. Every fantasy, every hope, every dream, I go for it. I’m not content just watching it on TV or seeing it online. I’m happiest when I’m doing “it”, whatever “it” is. My field of experiences gives me alot to reflect on and usually with a big smile on my face.

Controlling my life

I do me! It’s as simple as that. Leaving my life up to “destiny” or “fate” or “God’s divine plan” is something I just don’t do. The bible says “God helps those who help themselves” so I figure if I’m helping myself achieve goals, then God will help me to do the ones He’s cool with. I’m not short on confidence or low on morale because I have the biggest say in where I am and what I get done. Sure, I make mistakes, some of them are outright fun. I learn from the errors and aim never to repeat them. Speaking of controlling my life, I go out of my way to make sure I don’t run amok of the law so I don’t end up behind bars, ’cause that would mean I’d lose control and that’s gonna decrease my happiness.

Laughing alot

I look for the lighter side of most situations without losing sight of the gravity of different situations. I’m never afraid to laugh and enjoy a moment. When the situation is grave then I do the responsible thing, which is to be respectful and sober. I’m always hopeful though to get a smile and to look for the proverbial “silver lining”

AND FINALLY…

Liking myself

I don’t need anyone else to like me but me. If all the world loved and adored me but I didn’t like myself then I’d still be unhappy.I think I’m a great guy and I make good company. My self-esteem is high, after-all, I think highly of my own intelligence. Sounds like I’m borderline narcissistic, lol. I’m sure you get what I’m saying.

I hope this has been helpful, that would make me happier. Lemme know what you think and be sure to share with a friend.

My reading lead me to a place called  the ‘World Database of Happiness’ in Rotterdam, that is self-described as a “continuous register of scientific research on subjective appreciation of life.” Additionally, there’s an 800 page book called Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification which outlines all the characteristics, behaviors and conditions that lead to happiness. But who’s gonna read that?

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2 Responses to “Happiness – you can help yourself get it”

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Question to self:- Am I happy?? Answer to self: Prolly not.
Anyway, still have so much life ahead to work on that. Great post by the way, glad u have found a way to be happy with life as is.
I especially like ur point on ‘controlling my life’…never thought of it as doing us and Him helping us with the ones He is ok with. So far, God’s plan nuh really reveal itself and sometimes seem like it’s a plan to completely f**k us over sometimes. Not to go like Shawn Storm and say a ‘my life’ cause it’s not really ours, a borrowed goods, but living it up is def the way to go

Love this! Sounds as though you’ve been living in the place I recently discovered 🙂
The mind is a powerful tool. I agree – once we can harness and control that energy we are leaps and bounds ahead, going in the right direction. Dare I say after all these years of trying, I’m finally done and now I’m just happy (much to the dismay of others who are still miserable and appalled at my audacity to be set apart) 😉
Great read!


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